![]() Production “wrapped up” on Fruity Yummy Mummy as he joined the Brute in the cereal graveyard in 1993.Īs the old saying goes, “everything old is new again”. Much like The Mummy films, public interest was tepid at best. You’d think calling a character fruity might be a bit politically incorrect, but it pales in comparison to his originally offensive moniker, “Wrapped-Up Flamer”. To fill the void of those who love fruit cereal and missed the ‘Brute, “Fruity Yummy Mummy” was introduced to a yearning public. We’re still holding our breath on that ghastly cover of “I Will Survive”, but in the meantime, fasten your bell bottoms, here’s a taste of campy monsters gone campier:ĬHAPTER V: THAT CRUMMY DUMMY NAMED FRUITY YUMMY MUMMY Presented here, for your listening enjoyment, is one of a line of free records included with the cereal, entitled The Monsters Go Disco. I always thought my parents’ old Elvis records were a collector’s dream, but if you’re a true vinyl lover, your wax collection isn’t close to complete without off-tune breakfast ghouls serenading you. The braintrust at General Mills wisely decided this “my cereal’s turning my poop red” press wasn’t a wise marketing move, and have since changed the boo poo formula to a more stomach-friendly dye.ĬHAPTER III: THE MONSTERS HAVE RECORD SALES! Frankenstein had his final revenge on the living as said red dye didn’t fully break down in the human body, and the pinkish scare parents received during potty time became an unintended hilarious result infamously known as “Frankenberry stool”. ![]() Once upon a time, when disco reigned king, lava lamps had yet to become “retro”, and Cher had less fake body parts…Īfter the introduction of Frankenberry, the bloody-good cereal caused some unexpected and jarring scares to moms and dads nationwide…Īs the tale goes, the mad scientists from the spooky lab at General Mills used a certain red dye to give the cereal its trademark color. Flamboyantly tasty, this strawberry Frankenstein is “igor” to make your breakfast frighteningly delicious.ĬHAPTER II: HOLY CRAP! THE LEGEND OF FRANKENBERRY STOOL While his snazzy bowtie and hat may scream out “1920’s jazz musician”, it’s you who will be screaming when this always-tired looking poltergeist joins you at the breakfast table.įRANKENBERRY: With all those gears, clocks and whistles on his head, he looks like a steampunker straight out of Victoria’s Secret, but this Pepto Bismol-y hellion is anything but. Get your daily dose of Bran Stokers!īOO BERRY: Get your spoooooooooooon ready this moaning, cause it’s paranormal snacktivity time when this blueberry ghoul fills your bowl. ![]() His cape is nearly indistinguishable from his hair, he’s got a Barbara Streisand nose, square buck-teeth fangs, and “hunka-hunka burnin’ love” sideburns that’d make Uncle Jesse green with envy. At one time produced year round, they now are only available seasonally during the fall, just in time to make Tony the Tiger run for the hills and Snap, Crackle and Pop shake in their sugary britches.ĬHAPTER I: MEET THE GOBLINS YOU’LL BE GOBBLIN’ĬOUNT CHOCULA: Vampires drinking blood is sooo Twilight, cause this fanged-fiend has a Sweet Nosferatooth. The “Monster Cereals” have once again been unleashed upon us– a classic line of cereal created by General Mills, complete with a cult following, found annually on store shelves from September through Halloween. Rise and shine, wipe the gross eye-gunk out and look twice in the morning, cause your simple breakfast is now in danger. ![]() …and don’t think your the walls of your local supermarket can keep you safe. Chock full of creepy haunted houses, blood-curdling horror flicks, just-carved pumpkins, and spooky decorations as far as the eye can see… There’s a refreshing crispness to the cool evening air, football season is in full burst, fresh-pressed apple cider is on every shelf, and Halloween season, my favorite holiday, is ramping up speed. As the once fresh-green leaves begin their inevitable journey to crunchy Orangeland and Yellowville, and the mercury on the thermometer drops while the daily dose of white girls in yoga pants fawning over Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte on Facebook shoots up, there’s no denying it any further ladies and germs- We are in full autumnal mode.Ī season I never was super crazy about as a child, (what red-blooded kid really likes the carefree summer ending and school to start again?) years later, I absolutely love this time of year.
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